Monday, March 2, 2009

Public School? A Private Matter (But It Shouldn't Automatically Be Discounted, Either)

As anyone who's ever read Friends Talking in the Night knows, I struggle mightily with parental guilt--that just-kicked-in-the-gut feeling that comes on unbidden each time you think you might be failing your kids, however temporarily or slightly. I'm agonizing at this particular moment over the fact that Julia is in daycare on what for many kids in Washington is a snow day, while I'm at home blogging and doing research for a speech--never mind that she was happy to be there, kicking about in her boots like the little boy in Ezra Jack Keats's The Snowy Day. So I'm totally sympathetic with a piece in yesterday's New York Times "SundayStyles" about the hard calculus many parents are currently facing over whether or not to keep their kids in private-school education in this grizzly economy

Still, as the mother of a child in public school, I took umbrage at the writer's utter failure to question--even in a single throw-away line--the possibility that public-school education has any positives. If we hadn't made different decisions with the money we earn would Sam be in a private school? Maybe. But each morning when I hug him goodbye and give him a good luck pat on his backpack, I also feel that he's in a pretty perfect situation and that our family--and, in some tiny way, our neighborhood--benefits from being a part of the school down the hill. That sense is reinforced at pickup each afternoon by the engaged boy who hurls himself into my arms, talking without a breath about Harriet Tubman or Grandma Moses or his science teacher's voyage on an ice-cutter in Alaska.

I learned all I need to know about feeling that your child may be in the wrong place in the few weeks of kindergarten last year when Sam wailed every day, apparently over the stepped-up demands of academia: I couldn't have lived like that for long without making some changes in one direction or another. It's one thing to be unhappy yourself and altogether another to see your child in distress. It's primal. But I'm also reminded of a lesson I learned as a newlywed back in my twenties that seems so obvious now as to never have needed learning: you can't get everything you need out of one relationship--or one school.

I'm not preaching that public school is for everyone. Obviously, we don't know what, if anything, we're missing. And since we won't ever have a control group, only life will tell. 




4 comments:

Charlotte Laws said...

This is the comment I pasted on my Facebook page for you.....

__________________

I wrote an article about this some years ago (but the paper does not still have it avail online). My experience is that there is a drastic difference between public and private schools, at least here in Los Angeles. My daughter started out at the so-called top elementary public school in the city; it was located in a multi-million dollar neighborhood. At the time, I thought it was fine.... until I enrolled her in a private middle school. We quickly learned that she was severely under-prepared academically. I had made the decision to change schools primarily because in fifth grade, the kids at the public elementary were starting to get into violence, stealing, drugs, skipping school, etc.

A couple of years later, her private school started class several weeks late due to renovations. My daughter wanted to attend a public middle school for a few weeks (which was walking distance from our house, again in an upscale area), so she could get a head start and be with a female friend who was attending. It was a complete nightmare. Her female friend was beaten up on the second day of school and ended up in the hospital. My daughter saw one - two physical fights at lunch each day, offers of drugs, rampant sex, bad language from teachers and students. On the third day of class her frustrated English teacher threw a chair against the wall, and it broke into many pieces, frightening my daughter and the other students. This place had been touted as a superior public school; I began to wonder what the bad public schools were like. I was fearful every day she went to class and told her if she got really scared to just leave and walk home, even if it was the middle of the day.

I kept her in private school through high school, although she struggled academically because she did not have a proper foundation. I should also mention the tuition factor. The private middle school cost $4000 per year and the private high school cost $5000 per year; neither were supplemented by a religious institution. There are quite a few nonreligious private schools here in this price-range. So I ask: why can't the public schools around here, which receive $11,000 per student, educate properly and keep students under control when private schools can do it for half the cost. I am a huge supporter of vouchers. You and I are very lucky that we were given the opportunity to attend Lovett.

Anonymous said...

Public schools do what private schools don't have to and what no other country in the world even attempts: Educate EVERYBODY who comes to their door; regardless of income, ability, home life (or lack of), criminal record, or language. Sure there are problems but I've seen plenty of private schools with just as many drug/alcohol/sex/violence issues as public schools. Parents who are paying usually have better ability to keep their kids "under control". Even wrought with all its challenges and being ranked 48th in the nation for per pupil spending, I am proud to be a public school teacher in CA and I appreciate everyone who supports public education.
Sydney Coons

ralswang said...

The economy is becoming a great equalizer for almost everyone. Public school will become an easier choice now.
Keep up the great writing

Tom Hughes said...

Public school: Better selection of dealers,Private school: Better quality drugs, frequently scored from parents' medicine chest. Academic underpreparation: For what, exactly? Who is determining what your child wants to pursue, what your child wants for his/her life: you or the child. What about freedom to think and decide for him- or herself?

Private school creates an artificial separation between people, frequently along class lines (sure, everyone knows about scholarship kids). George W. Bush was the product of a privileged private school education, right up to Skull & Bones. Give me a kid with a good head and a good heart, and he or she can be educated in a hollow tree by the side of a strip mall. May even not be underprepared for standardized tests and college-application essays.

Smart, kind, and knowledgable about the world is not the exclusive domain of the private- school child. Talk to a few hundred who've made so many interesting choices on Wall Street over the past couple of years.